If I Were a Rich Man

Dear God, you made many, many poor people.

I realize, of course, that it's no shame to be poor

But it's no great honor, either.

So what would have been so terrible if I had a small fortune?

If I were a rich man,

Daidle deedle daidle

Daidle daidle deedle daidle dumb

All day long I'd biddy-biddy-bum

If I were a wealthy man

I wouldn't have to work hard,

Daidle deedle daidle

Daidle daidle deedle daidle dumb

If I were a biddy-biddy rich,

Daidle deedle daidle daidle man

I'd build a big tall house with rooms by the dozen

Right in the middle of the town,

A fine tin roof with real wooden floors below.

There would be one long staircase just going up

And one even longer coming down,

And one more leading nowhere, just for show.

I'd fill my yard with chicks and turkeys and geese

And ducks for the town to see and hear,

Squawking just as noisily as they can,

And each loud

"pa-pa-geeee! pa-pa-gaack! pa-pa-geeee! pa-pa-gaack!"

Would land like a trumpet on the ear,

As if to say, "Here lives a wealthy man."

Oy!

If I were a rich man,

Daidle deedle daidle

Daidle daidle deedle daidle dumb

All day long I'd biddy-biddy-bum

If I were a wealthy man

I wouldn't have to work hard,

Daidle deedle daidle

Daidle daidle deedle daidle dumb

If I were a biddy-biddy rich,

Daidle deedle daidle daidle man.

I see my wife, my Golde,

Looking like a rich man's wife,

With a proper double chin,

Supervising meals to her heart's delight.

I see her putting on airs

And strutting like a peacock,

Oy! What a happy mood she's in,

Screaming at the servants day and night.

The most important men in town will come to fawn on me

They will ask me to advise them,

Like a Solomon the Wise