Charlotte

I walked into the Nag's Head for sustenance me belly

There was a fit crack in the corner but I knew her cunt was smelly

She smelt of rotting fish heads and old and crispy cig

Said her name was Charlotte and she wanted suck me dick

Oh, I thought "Now lad, times are hard and it's nearly closing time"

I'll put a bag on her head and a peg on me nose

And I'll grummage through the slime

Charlotte is the biggest slagging mack

She'll do anything but get you in the sack

With her legs spread wide she opens up her crack

Spays her life just lying on her back

Well, we walked along up Buxton Road, and strolled along the cut

She said, "Give us an inch and I'll take

A yard", so I slammed her half a foot

Got me hand up her skirt 'cause I'm a mack lad

And I knew just what fern do

I got me hand inside and then me arm inside

I lost it right up to me tattoo

Charlotte is the biggest slagging mack

She'll do anything but get you in the sack

Coffee, sex and Johnny bags come free

So do crabs and herpes and VD

Oh, Charlotte

And we ended up at her place

And I waded through the johnnies

She put another notch in her bedstead

While I watched the two ronnies

Charlotte is the biggest slagging mack

She lies in wait and then she springs a trap

She's always got to take the upper hand

And you are what you drink and I'm a bitter man

Charlotte