Bad

Dad was a Clyde

Ma was a Bonnie

My brother, a con

My sister, a connie

And then they had me

The fly in the ointment

In a long line of hustlers

A big disappointment

I got the charm (you do)

And I got the looks (sure do)

Got my DNA from the world's finest crooks (finest crooks)

A professional poser

A counterfeit cad

Why can't I be better (better than who?)

At just bein' bad? (You can do better, can do better, can do better)

(Oh, if only you could be better at just bein' bad)

A disgrace to my family (yup)

Mocked by the Mob (uh-huh)

'Cause I robbed a bank

That had already been robbed (no way)

My pyramid schemes (all of his schemes)

Are turnin' to squares (turnin' to squares)

When I need a strike

I'm always a spare

Oh, but I could be king

If I could just find the pawn (checkmate)

Oh, I'd be a pro (you'd be the greatest con-man)

At bein' a con

The tables I'd run

The numbers I'd pad

If I could be better (better than who)

At just bein' bad

I could dig my way out of this ditch

If I had just one more wagon to hitch

Be a plaid-wearin' really rich son of a bitch

Like my dad

I gotta get better (you gotta get better)

Or I'll end up deader (a million times deader)

Unless I get better (better than before)

At just bein' bad (you can do better, just do better, just do better)

At bad