How You Know Me

It's been a long time for me, I'll start with an apology

Maybe you'll take it easy that way

Don't want you to see me, cuz I'm not okay

I lied through my teeth and I called it a smile

I've loved all my life, now I call it denial

So many things that I don't understand

So many seasons that didn't go as planned

Is there somewhere that I can go

Where you'll never find me, so you'll never know

Is there somewhere that your eyes don't see

I don't want this to be how you know me

I've been on the same road for miles, though I never planned to stay a while

I tried to outrun me and then even you

But masked in my best disguise, you saw through

I had the dark cloud but then you brought the rain

Was it to teach me a lesson or drive me insane?

Is this the bad that comes before the good

I never pretended I understood

Is there somewhere that I can go

Where your love won't make me reap what I sow

Is there somewhere that your hands don't reach

I don't want this to be how you know me

Give me a chance to prove I can learn

I'm slow to start but my fire will burn

So many things that I don't understand

So many seasons that you have planned