Liposuction

If all your fancy diet plans have got your head a-swimmin'

And everything you eat must be approved by Richard Simmons

Stop eatin' that birdseed, friend, 'cause what you really need

Is a procedure guaranteed not to impede your need to feed

Liposuction, liposuction

The new immediate weight reduction plan

Trade in the hand you've been dealt

And get surgically svelte

At your friendly neighborhood liposuction man

If you've abandoned exercise and your gut keeps gettin' vaster

Your thighs are growin' oversized and your butt's gone off to pasture

If you want a new demeanor and you're keen on gettin' leaner

Then your remedy is an M.D. with a fancy vacuum cleaner

Liposuction, liposuction

The new immediate weight reduction plan

Take the fat cells from your hips

Put 'em in Barbara Hershey's lips

At your friendly neighborhood liposuction man

Yee-haw!

Here we go!

If your waistline is a'surgin'

And in need of some reversion

And your overall weight dispersion's

Gettin' on the verge of perversion

I'm encouragin' an excursion

To go searchin' for a surgeon

And get your emergency purgin'

Of the burgeonin' fat emergin' from your chin

Liposuction, liposuction

The new immediate weight reduction plan

Get your torso reformatted

Get a nose job while you're at it

At your friendly neighborhood liposuction man

Make your ass twelve inches thinner

And be home in time for dinner

At your friendly neighborhood liposuction man

Well, the doctor's bill may vex ya

But it sure beats anorexia

At your friendly neighborhood liposuction man