Uncaged

So Nicolas Cage is playing Joe Exotic?

That's some terrible casting man, haha

He should be playing the Taika

Step to the cage and it gets quick to rip your face off

Just like he did in my favorite film, Face Off

You know the one where he and John Archer based off

Swap places, put each other's face on

But I'm not John Travolta, I'm Castor Troy

I like my guns gold-plated and I'll cap your boy, ooh

Better get off that carousel, I'll shoot ya

But I'll never grab your ass without a hallelujah

Wait, Joe Exotic getting played by Nicolas?

All he has to do is look like he got syphilis

Be the tiger king, you gotta lower your appraisal

And just like in Raising Arizona, gotta snatch kids from cradles

That movie crazy, kidnap a baby out his carriage

Getting beaten down heavily just to fix his broken marriage

An underrated film, hope he won't be character

Around the tiger amateurs going straight for another limb

The cast of mind back 55 hundred days

The tick of a lobster in the side of one Benjamin Gates

Historian, delve the demons in the artifacts and tracks

Like the Indiana Jones of America's past

A fist of cash for your ledger in your pocket is the game

Got a national treasure on the docket for today

But never say that Ben Gates has ever been late

To a date with Ben Franks, traces scattered in the United States

Nicolas, you gon' feel that Johnny Blaze

With the pen is there, he can take you out in just one gaze

Wasn't in the MCU, but he still paved the way

For all these other Marvel movies breaking records 'til this day

Got that fire head, and I ain't talking foreplay

Also brought some change and again, they ain't fourplay

Rotten Tomato critics thinking that they're all that

Ghost Rider 'bout to pull up and leave his car spray

When you think wicker, you might think furniture

Not Nic Cage facing crazy fake murderers

Father Somalis wants a little girl for Tampa

You just gotta ask the critics to see how he got burned

Have to fight for his life, rapier-y acolyte

See the sisters want some honey so they need a sacrifice

It's hard to bear but at least we got the memes

Help the bees, help the bees, help the bees, help the bees

Oh no, now cut the rabbit, let's make some magic happen

We watching wizards with them plasma lighting on Manhattan

When Cage be rocking mops on top then brother know that it's true

He training up a new apprentice like Kenobi would do

Oh yeah, Bob the zombie's great, yeah

Hear the men today, yeah

And a mortal warlord played by the immortal Cage, yeah

Critics must be under my control with all the hate, yeah

This a magic movie that's more epic than Fantasia

I'm Tom Wells, I sat in that armchair

Arms started to swell, I was watching a bombshell

A girl stabbed to death, Mary Ann had to make a plan

Private eye trying to find a guy in the master sky

A deep dive in the world of porn and snuff

I'm back for revenge and Dick Eddie, the warning's up

Kill the machine when rain started to fill up

I saw the biggest secrets rise up in eight millimeters

'Cause Nicolas Cage is a tiger

The type of man who cannot be tamed

So when you try to cage up the tiger

You'll bring the tiger right out the cage

Nic Cage and David Lynch, what a tight combo

In Wild at Heart, Silly Ripley was the bomb, yo

With a snakeskin jacket representing symbolically

His individuality and freedom hyperbolically

With Wizard of Oz references throughout

Cage becomes a father but Laura Dern is left in doubt

Will he love her tender when he's out of prison?

A violent fairy tale full of very poor decisions

Peep the sequence, local cop got some sleazy secrets

Beautiful wife and a girlfriend that he can sleep with

Place in Besmondo, dressing up like Don Ho

Got an eye on a blonde he's trying to take back to his condo

Whoa, assassination in Atlantic City

Save the victim, spitting blood on this corrupt system

But Lil' Ricky Rolls snake eyes, it's that easy

The house wins but hey, at least he got on TV

Eight beers and I didn't crash

I bought a bunny and I bring him back (bunny)

He's in a bag, in a box, in a duffel bag

Rolling through the sky with a whole lot of rude dudes

A weak man might raise hands to the sky

Yelling "Why me?" while the cold sweat from his eye brown

But I'll be me, you can be John Malkovich

Either way, put the bunny in the box, bitch

Lord of War, best movie in the arsenal

Nic Cage rage as crazy as an animal

Did a line of blow but mixed it with gunpowder

Selling more weapons to all sides, controlling power

Did it for his country so he'll never get caught

Even Interpol agents starring Ethan Hawke

And a brother Jared Leto can't get over the coke

Nick so tough he doesn't cry watching Jericho smoke

When the sun goes down, out come the night crawlers

And I'm about to get some blood on your white collar

I'll bite your neck, send you into wild bliss

Have a Band-Aid handy for my vampire's kiss

Call you guano, you gone batshit

I mean Peter, what even is that accent? (Oh god)

Are you Nosferatu or could you be faking?

Either way, throw your shades on and keep your cheap things in

Return of the King, not the tiger, just remember

Cage in his veteran role, Joe Enders

Wind talking through all the fire and the embers

Based on true events but it is Cage that we remember

Nobody can argue the heat that he brought has got us fooled hard

People are dying but we are complying 'cause he is my czar

Yeah, you know he's untouchable, actor and chameleon

Disappear in every role, I wish that I could meet him

'Cause Nicolas Cage is a tiger

The type of man who cannot be tamed

So when you try to cage up the tiger

You'll bring the tiger right out the cage

Tell me, say this is a Nicolas Cage cypher

Tie him down, he'll fly off the chain

So if you think you can cage up the tiger

You'll bring the tiger right out the cage

Big daddy in your warehouse ready to ass kick

Along with Hit-Girl and her sidekick, Ass-Kick

Me and my daughter eat your guts on the walls

(Let's get sundaes after), good call, baby doll

Ex-cop vigilante but I'm incognito

You're about to meet the reaper, Frank D'Amico

Take cover, child, quick, hit the light

Now switch to Kryptonite

Next up, moonstruck, romantic leading man

Get the big knife and a very locked-in hand

Tickets to the opera, Loretta looking pretty

Howl at the moon, this is New York City

Will Ronnie betray his brother who's away?

Olympia Dukakis

Tryna get a rock star call Frazier's dad

And take him out to dinner

So sorry Nick, cheers Oscar winners

This is the first person narrative voice of Charlie Kaufman

Trying to make a rap about the book but the outcome's

Not forthcoming, I've got writer's block

So let me pass to someone who actually likes hip-hop

My brother Donald taking over the script

A lyrical wrecking ball

That's pushing weight and moving bricks

That isn't a metaphor

Never mind the fourth, I break the fifth damn wall

Yeah, look okay, I admit it man, I'm Dan Bull

Call me Peter Parker but I'm from the 1930s

Let the bats run down to my fingers so I can feel it burning

Soul is hurting, death and flirting, perfect when I'm rhyming words

House they repping pulled into the webbing of the Spider-Verse

Feeling a notch in the force in my punches

Is knocking the Mitch to the ground

Wow, I'm feeling profound and sick and

Dizzy in the state of the nation we found

Uh, Spider-Noir, there's a reason why we have to fight

To talk about morality because to me it's black and white

The year was '96 when Nick was in a riff

Michael Bay said stick him in a rock and it'll be a hit

You've got James Bond calling the shots

Underneath the shower making future Call of Duty plots

A classic case of chemical warfare

And not to general 'cause he's losing his own hair

The Cage yet again part of action history

Saving San Francisco from what could have been its misery

They call me Red even though my neck ain't

Middle name is Revenge and I'll get straight

With the coke that killed my Mandy, damn

I'm not Frank Sinatra, don't need any pants

Got an axe to grind but first to forge one

Pick up a chainsaw and forget your sword, son

I take a lot of licks, now I'm flipping balls

They ripped my favorite shirt, now I'll kill 'em all

Because Nicolas Cage is a tiger

The type of man who cannot be tamed

So when you try to cage up the tiger

You'll bring the tiger right out the cage

Now listen, this is a Nicolas Cage cypher

Tying down the fly off the chain

So if you think you can cage up the tiger

You'll bring the tiger right out the cage