Careless Flames

On a perfect fall morning

I awoke to a message from my father

That echoes to this day

For once my thoughts went silent

And in that moment

I reclaimed the emptiness as peace

As I bore witness to your final form

A spark kissed the stores of tinder I'd amassed

I surveyed the remains by the amberlight glow

And even in the devastation

Some trace of warmth remained

Burned down in the middle hollowed out by careless flames

Ashes for a skeleton fill this empty frame

Back in the days when was a teenager

Woulda done anything thinkin it could save you

You could find the Stevie listening to emo

Methodist waiting room you was doin' chemo

It started with the stomachaches ya couldn't shake the nausea

But you never really had a mind to check it with a doctor

By the time we made you visit there was little they could do

They gave you maybe 6 months and some chemicals too

Your body started to fail as the flowers filled the living room

Ran away couldn't stay couldn't be so close to you

A terrified child didn't have the means to cope

Surviving through denial as my universe broke

I was prepared for the regret but I did not expect the guilt

That eroded the foundation of this fortress that I built

After 20 years of holding on to hate for what I did

I found the strength within and finally forgave that little kid

(Ideally I'd deal with my feelings

The forcefield is real I know I need healing)

Burned down in the middle

Hollowed out by careless flames

Ashes for a skeleton

Fill this empty frame

Back in the days when I was a teenager

Before I grew roots or knew my true nature

You could find Tim listening to oldies

She was across from him laying on the porch swing

Swaying in the warm breeze as it whispered

I'd listen too but they only spoke with her

See some things believed in were not actually there

Nothing but inner demons gasping for thin air

It had been years and accordingly

I'd grown to regard this sort of thing to be normalcy you know?

But it broke my heart to watch the monarch metamorphing

And ultimately altogether stop soaring from the home

I'm sorry I've left your fire unattended

But hope burns I still feel the embers

And I recognize we won't ever make it all better

Just wish we could enjoy the weather

(Ideally I'd deal with my feelings

The forcefield is real I know I need healing)

Burned down in the middle

Hollowed out by careless flames

Ashes for a skeleton

Fill this empty frame

Burned down in the middle

Hollowed out by careless flames

Ashes for a skeleton

Fill this empty frame

Attempting to remember how the sunlight hit the leaves

Trying to envision how the branches felt the breeze

Try to quell the fires rage

After the embers fade