Ramblin Rover

Oh, there's sober men in plenty

And drunkards barely twenty

There are men of over ninety

That have never yet kissed a girl

But give me a rambling rover

Frae Orkney down to Dover

We will roam the country over

And together we'll face the world

There are many that seek enjoyment

From merciless employment

Their ambition this deployment

From the minute they left the school

And they save and scrape and ponder

For the rest go out and squander

See the world and rove and wander

And they're happier as a rule

Oh, there's sober men in plenty

And drunkards barely twenty

There are men of over ninety

That have never yet kissed a girl

But give me a rambling rover

Frae Orkney down to Dover

We will roam the country over

And together we'll face the world

I have roamed through all the nations

And delight in all creation

I've enjoyed a wee sensation

When the company did prove kind

And when parting was no pleasure

I drank another measure

To the good friends that we treasure

For they always are on our mind

Oh, there's sober men in plenty

And drunkards barely twenty

There are men of over ninety

That have never yet kissed a girl

But give me a rambling rover

Frae Orkney down to Dover

We will roam the country over

And together we'll face the world

If you're bent with arthritis

And your bowels have got colitis

You've galloping bollockitis

And you're thinking it's time you'd died

And you've been a man of action

And you're lying there in traction

You can gain some satisfaction

Thinkin', "Jesus, at least I tried"

Oh, there's sober men in plenty

And drunkards barely twenty

There are men of over ninety