if you only knew

I've been tryin' so hard to survive

Sometimes I think that I wanna die

I feel so fucking guilty 'cause God, I'm so lucky to live my life

So I keep all the pain to myself

Losin' faith, but nobody can tell

Mom, I don't want you worried 'cause that would just hurt me

So I pretend I'm fine

If you only knew

What my mind is tellin' me I should do

That I'm drunk and all alone in my room here tonight

I'm too sad to cry, it's true, oh

If you only knew

All the shit my brain is puttin' me through

You'd come runnin' over straight to my room here tonight

I'm sorry, but I need you, oh

If you only knew

I wish I was somebody else

I'm constantly overwhelmed

Now I'm falling again, gettin' drunk with some friends

It's a silent cry for help

I wanna get better, I want you to know

That I can't do this on my own

If you only knew

What my mind is tellin' me I should do

That I'm drunk and all alone in my room here tonight

I'm too sad to cry, it's true, oh

If you only knew

All the shit my brain is puttin' me through

You'd come runnin' over straight to my room here tonight

I'm sorry, but I need you, oh

Take me outta this hell

Oh, somebody help

Take me outta this hell

Oh, I'm not myself

I wanna tell you what my mind is tellin' me I should do

That I'm drunk and all alone in my room here tonight

I'm too sad to cry, but I want to

Oh, if you only knew