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Narrator: Scoochie found himself in an underground catacomb
He wandered the labyrinth for hours
Until he found an inscription carved on the wall
"Many years from now,
I was a young researcher at the University of Dargus
When by happy accident
I cross-bred the kitchen spice thyme with OG Kush
After an exploratory hit I found I had tremendous munchies and stubble
I stumbled out of the lab to find
My teachers reported me absent for weeks
I could only conclude the impossible
The strain's effects were not only physical, but temporal as well
20 years later, the United Space of America
Launched the first interstellar spacecraft
And powering its hybrid-drive: a single nugget of my Eternity Purp
But, in my hubris, I flew too close to the sun
I made a brownie with it, and have become completely unstuck in time
I write this that you might learn from my mistakes
If you're gonna fuck with Eternity Purp
Make sure you can handle your shit
Signed, Dr. Anthony Purplepoop, 420 A.D
Narrator: Scoochie finally emerged from the tunnels onto a field
And began the long walk back to his Ciroc-et ship
As dark clouds gathered