Bonnyrigg Banker

I am a bonny rig banker and I've got some money for you

You're a rambler and a gambler so come in and join the queue

I love the smell of toxic debt so give it all to me

And I'll be waiting at the bank to give you more each day

You can buy a house, a brand new car, or a bonny wee tartan shawl

Oh yes I am a banker, I think that says it all

And when at last you're overdrawn and interest rates are high

I'll sell your debt for profit to the banker in the sky

The bonny rig banker's bonny and the bonny rig banker's braw

It disnae matter what I do, am I within the law

I'm laughing when you're overdrawn and when you cannae pay

I'm laughing all the way to the bank, oh happy happy day

Now I'm a chirpy cheery chield as all my friends do know

But even I was tested when the cash was running low

The folk that had some savings that they wanted to withdraw

Well they couldnae understand when there was nothing there at all

It's obvious when you think of it, I'd given the money away

There was the chance to pay it back but some folk couldn't see

So I shut my doors and other banks of course they did the same

Then Gordon gave us billions just to open them up again

The bonny rig banker's bonny and the bonny rig banker's braw

It disnae matter what I do, am I within the law

I'm laughing when you're overdrawn and when you cannae pay

I'm laughing all the way to the bank, oh happy happy day

Things couldnae get much better, or at least that's what I thought

A hundred billion doon the drain and frankly that's a lot

They had a big enquiry and they said it would be fine

Then they gave us all a bonus and they thanked me for my time

But now the bubble's burst, I've got other fish to fry

The taxpayer pays me now for other things I buy

For I'm a politician and I'm claiming this and that

Like a non-existent mortgage on a non-existent flat

The bonny rig politician is sae bonny and sae braw

It disnae matter what I do, am I within the law

I'm laughing when you pay me for my hoose is far away

I'm laughing all the way to the bank, oh happy happy day