Lagging

I don't want to get out of bed

I'm in my head

I've read enough statistics

I ain't with this

I swear not willing to fucking fix it

With multiple damn meds

I risked it all for what

A fun time, a fun fuck

Thinking I'd overcome

Well I'll tell you what

You've put yourself in a rut

You're stuck

You're down and out on your luck

All cause you wanted nut

Doc says I'll live long

So stay strong

While everything is fucking wrong

When I feel so fucking lost

And I know it's my own fault

And I know I made that call

But now I'm just trying to stall before I fold

Before I fall all the way to the bottom

Life's like hahahahahahaha we got 'em

I catch myself passing the blunt to no one

Have I become this sad story of resistance

All because of you, it feels like

But you're not to blame for my

Inability to love monogamously

Sad, Sad, Sad, Sad, Sad, Sad

Sad, Sad, Sad, Sad, Sad, Sad

All I can feel is depression

News in an era of fake news this isn't

Wishing it were, wishing I loved her

I'd fit in

You sit in and you get arrested

Testin the waters

Like you're Jesus Christ

Like you lived your life

But now you're crucified

I, for one, don't want to die

But it seems so easy now

Why why do I try try

For what

For who

For guy

The one that let me down

Sigh sigh

I've tried

I'm fuckable but unlovable

Mumble mumble

Enough about me

I'm convinced that if we all helped

We wouldn't go through hell alone

Searching for heaven

We'd be loving well and letting go

I catch myself passing the blunt to no one