Текст пісні
Ponderances
Very real to you
Parallel universe
Sit in my therapist's office, overlook the city
Drone army wonder where to go for beer and donuts on Mississippi
I'm forced posture, spiked leather couch posted
Fifty percent through life, two hundred percent growth left
Always intend to advance the plot, to move rocks
Then I distract doc with pebbles recently ruminating abot
I was overwhelmed lately
Thoughts of my deathbed no regrets deprecate like, that nurse hate me
Doc, you don't know the inertia to break
The warden in my head saying it is too late
Spent my twenties family protector, no sinning
Thirties disillusion, head spinning
Doc talk inner kid, "It's not passed you, it's past you"
"Maintain making music in the bedroom to discover your values"
"Change's never too late, it can take a few minutes"
Attitude of gratitude coming, he beeline for reassurance
"There's an alternate universe version of you jealous what you accomplished"
("An alternate universe version of you jealous what you accomplished")
Can only think, parallel selves, stare at the office closet
Like a door to other worlds, my spastic mind
See on the other side infinity of me with an axe to grind
Doc sees I dwell, reverse course to suture
"Do you want a different past or a better future?"
He's too late I can't help it
Drown in comparison to other selves, I'm self less
He too late, mind brace for something abrasive
Closet door blast off hinges, incoming invasion
Men pour in, lead by this blonde mustachioed bloke
Look like me in a gi if I'd stuck with jits, this a joke?
He ready to choke, strongman behind say "No, give me a go"
Look like me if I'd stuck with weights, cock back an axe throw (shit)
Duck behind the chaise longue
It reflect projectiles, thank Freud whatever it's made from
Fuck is going on? Hide from them with the same face
There can only be one and they gunning for my place?
There a prisoner strong from walking in shackles
Escaped his warden, hurls his chains at me in battle
Uncaged animal outta Dark Souls, ditch the weight to parkour (we won't go back)
Tower over me, "I won't go back to my world" (we won't go back)
The desperate look in his eyes, I am done for
Doc kick the seat out under the prisoner, he stumble
"Take my hand, don't fear"
I don't always listen but he never steer me wrong, sure, let's get out of here
More men than the room can manage
Doc take me to the balcony's lowest fall damage
We make it to street level, did we see the last of them?
No, more portaled across the road, coming out fast and then
Another me explode out the beer porch
He look unhoused, lust in his eyes are scorched
Just spent his last dollar, no tip, ass out
He too drunk to chase, sidewalk trip and pass out
There's another after me, a clone
A disappointment disowned so he paying back loans
Dropout turned IT basement dweller
Avoid the phone, no other way till he see me enter
In his free geek tee wanna tell me I sold out (#%$@!)
If he weren't so out of breath and burnt out
"It's not safe here," I follow doc down the street
Pass by a me so tired he'd kill for a night's sleep
Newborns in his arms, no savings, he stuck
Close to explode but he don't, that'd be making a fuss
Married young, can't divorce, she'd take him to the cleaners
And they say it's the right thing to stay, he knows no other teacher
A road rager bear down on me in a hooptie
All his time drive LA, scrape for bit parts in movies
Starving artist thought he chose happy
Late to his eighth casting today otherwise he'd come at me
Wherever I run, parallel selves I'm facing
Surround me on the street, can I escape this rumination?
They must be from one universe over
Not one of 'em two jumps out Republican or footballer
They must be from over yonder
I wonder where—shit, even when my mind wander, my mind wander
"We gotta keep moving," I'm gasping
The mob closing in, city on fire like the dream's collapsing
Where to turn? I'm surrounded
Doc shake my arm to wake, "John, you're lost in thoughts that's unfounded"
The parallels fade, I'm still in doc's office
Just the two of us, no need to repair the closet
Looking like a wake-up-from-the-dream denouement
Misunderstood the assignment, say no more
An exercise in gratitude
Heard that one before, platitudes
That invalidate my real pain
People condescend and ostracize when I can't concentrate
"I see that exercise didn't work, my bad"
Doc, all them suffering and mad at me just make me sad
Your hint of parallels sniped me, I thought you knew this
Snipe me to the point can't check one thing off the todo list
I leave doc's office flattened
Join friends in line at the beer porch rebuilt like nothing happened
Cashier await my response, impatient, this alien
Mind wand'rin, the multiversal lonely sapien
Dissociate while normies happy hour gossip
I'm haunted by parallels behind the office closet
You think the ending a fantasy like DnD?
When y'all stare daggers at this black sheep: feels fucking real to me