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On your nineteenth bump you got the rising hump
As the fruity squall's about to soil your spunk
So take a flying jump at the stirrup pump
Or the priory walls will have you cobbler's awl's
You'll never light the lamp when your match is damp
And it's the sea green snuff that really hits the spot
You put the rubber stamp on your stomach cramp
And what has time forgot is better not, or what
Books and water
Bricks and mortar
Books and water
You can do what you like on a Saturday night
But you ain't coming home if you feel alright
You take a sherbet dab to the next rehab
Tie the nuptial knot, I've never will, I ain't got
And under every slab there's even more kippan
Whereby you lose the plot about the true so what
And when they stop the clock upon the disused stock
The only common ground is at the lost and found
And with your arse in hock say thanks a lot old cock
For only fourteen pound I'm Alabamy bound
Books and water
Pigs and slaughter
Books and water
Take a pipe on this and run like hell
If you ain't seen nothing like a nail do well
On your nineteenth bump you got the rising hump
You play the big main stakes whatever else it takes
So do a flying jump at the stirrup pump
As Zarathustra spake, thus are the breaks
You'll never light the lamp when your match is damp
And it's the sea green snuff that really hits the spot
You put the rubber stamp on your stomach cramp
And what has time forgot is better not, or what
Books and water
Bricks and mortar
Books and water
You can do what you like on a Saturday night
But you ain't coming home if you feel alright
Books and water
Pigs and slaughter
Books and water
Take a pipe on this and run like hell
If you ain't seen nothing like a nail do well