Текст пісні
Let me tell you the story of a girl called Eva
Married this Norman dude, aka Strongbow
On their bloody honeymoon, they reached the conclusion
The Gaelic nation is just an illusion
Just a bunch of sacrilegious sheep-shagging minions
At least that was the English Pope's opinion
"Go forth, Strongbow, reform the Irish Church
And if you conquer the country, well, such is life!"
The Irish bard schroders didn't like this idea
They had an archy notion about the benefits of freedom
Resisted fiercely with curragh and spade
Till they were run off the lands by the papal jihad
Those who came to terms with foreign domination
Learned to speak English, it beat starvation
The rest hung a turf fire in the country
Dreamed of river dance and coming prosperity
Sit you down, sit you down
Let's talk about battles lost but never won
Oh, that's the history of Ireland, part one!
The years passed by, kings and our pontiffs too
Till up in the north there rose two men called Hugh
O'Donnell and O'Neill from Donegal and Tyrone
Asked the King of Spain to kick the English on
But they got psyched out at the Battle of Kinsale
The Spanish Armada took a dive in the rain
O'Neill found Jesus with the Pope in Rome
And the Brits poisoned Red Hugh's sangria in Spain
A lot of things happened, I'll skip over them fast
A lot of little battles, guess what we lost?
Let England fight its own wars, if you please
'Cause getting Ollie Cromwell pissed off was not a good idea
He scorched our arses with his burning cross
Introduced us to sectarianism
Banished our youth to the Jamaican fields
That's why Bob Marley sang them Gaelic melodies
Sit you down, sit you down
Let's talk about battles lost but never won
That's the history of Ireland, part one!
But we don't give up easy, less sense than courage
We backed Jimmy Stewart instead of Willie from Orange
Oh man, that was our biggest mistake