PENELOPE

Yeah yeah

Okay

Man this is one of my favorite beats

I made for real for real

Incorrectly interpreted often

Been dejected since the first of August

Life became way too melancholic

Was never not sulking

As I searched for solace

But unfortunately

I still haven't found it yet

Been buried under copious

Amounts of stress

I need Dopamine and

To lay down and rest

Asked if the universe hates me

I got a resounding yes

Self deprecation every week

Was no help to me

Suffered from low self esteem

I wouldn't say I hate myself

but I certainly

Still don't feel the opposite

And that is what my problem is

Lack of self love

Ever since I was cognizant

Also being a stagnant failure

On top of it

I hate the way I look to the point

I'm kinda scared to even

Put myself out there

I know that I'm rare

So why the hell do I stare

In the mirror until the

Dysmorphia kicks in?

Why compare

Myself to others anyway?

Comparison is the thief of delight

I spent many days

Focused on the wrong stuff

Instead of trying to change my ways

And that was a big mistake

I had to heal from so many

Traumatic events that I still

Feel some of the burns from

But thankfully I learned some

Of the biggest lessons

Despite my big depression

Imma still turn up

So regardless of what

Is said about me

No one knows me better than I

Spent a lot of nights self-doubting

But I wouldn't change a thing

Even if I could go back in time

And that's definitely saying a lot

'Cause if possible I would've

Never talked

To certain people

And invited lurking evil

And would have remained peaceful

But would've never evolved

Just some food for thought

Perfect that's what I've never been

Incorrectly interpreted ever since

I was young

Misunderstood to the very end

I was dumb

All I know is that I'm better than

I used to be

And that is what matters most

Truthfully

I didn't really have no hope

I was too naive

I had to travel roads

On my own

Just To get to this place of peace

Perfect that's what I never been

Soul searching just trying

To be better than

I was yesterday

Certain realizations settled in

Yeah I was out of my element

Now

I'm in a whole different mind state

So get the hell out my face

I couldn't care less

About any lies made

Finally started to realize my strength

Sipping out a Wine glass

Filled with black henny

Its half Empty

Drunk as hell cause I had plenty

Most enemies are just old friends

That had envy

But I don't give a damn really

Call me out my name

Till I'm desensitized

Relentless lies they often

Spread like fire

Misinformation often prioritized

The truth is never more

Entertaining than the lie

And I

Know what it's like to be a pariah

Specifically Socially

It happened

In the blink of eye

But I know that things

Happen for a reason

Negativity had a hold on me

People will try remind you

Of ya lesser self

But it just won't help

'Cause You've evolved

They'll still try to bring you down

And they'll usually fall

While wobbling on their

Moral high horse

That's what I truly call…

Perfect that's what I've never been

Incorrectly interpreted ever since

I was young

Misunderstood to the very end

I was dumb

All I know is that I'm better than

I used to be

And that is what matters most

Truthfully

I didn't really have no hope

I was too naive

I had to travel roads

On my own

Just To get to this place of peace

Perfect that's what I never been

Soul searching just trying

To be better than

I was yesterday

Certain realizations settled in

Yeah I was out of my element

Now

I'm in a whole different mind state

So get the hell out my face

I couldn't care less

About any lies made

Finally started to realize my strength