Shiksa Goddess

I'm breaking my mother's heart

The longer I stand looking at you

The more I hear it splinter and crack

From ninety miles away

I'm breaking my mother's heart

The JCC of Spring Valley is shaking

And crumbling to the ground

And my grandfather's rolling

Rolling in his grave

If you had a tattoo, that wouldn't matter

If you had a shaved head, that would be cool

If you came from Spain or Japan

Or the back of a van

Just as long as you're not from Hebrew school

I'd say, "Now I'm getting somewhere!

I'm finally breaking through!"

I'd say, "Hey! Hey! Shiksa goddess!

I've been waiting for someone like you"

I've been waiting through Danica Schwartz and Erica Weiss

And the Handelman twins

I've been waiting through Heather Greenblatt, Annie Mincus, Karen Pincus and Lisa Katz

And Stacy Rosen, Ellen Kaplan, Julie Silber and Janie Stein

I've had Shabbas dinners on Friday nights

With every Shapiro in Washington Heights

But the minute I first met you

I could barely catch my breath

I've been standing for days with the phone in my hand

Like an idiot, scared to death

I've been wandering through the desert

I've been beaten, I've been hit

My people have suffered for thousands of years

And I don't give a sh*t!

If you had a pierced tongue, wouldn't matter

If you once were in jail or you once were a man,

If your mother and your brother had relations with each other

And your father was connected to the Gotti clan

I'd say, "F*ck it, nobody's perfect"

It's tragic but it's true

I'd say, "Hey! Hey! Shiksa goddess!

I've been waiting for someone like..."

You, breaking the circle

You, taking the light

You, you are the story

I should write

I have to write!

If you drove an R.V., that wouldn't matter

If you like to drink blood, I think it's cute