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My first bride was a Jekyll and Hyde, she made cakes for the WI (daytime: the mild side of life)
She did work for charity, helped out at the nursery (day time: a child minding wife)
Sun goes down, you find her getting ready, push-up bra, thirsting for a bevvy
By the time she's necked a pint of amber nectar- too late... watch her mutate
WILD CIDER WIFE carnage every night
She swears and rapes and pillages through all ad-ja-cent villages
Sets her farts alight- WILD CIDER WIFE
She came home with a broken bone, but you've guessed it's not her own
She don't care about the spunk in her hair, or where she lost her underwear
Vagina getting wider with every pint of cider
With cider inside her, no one satisfies her
She'll explode like a ton of fertiliser- she fights on diamond white
WILD CIDER WIFE snakebite dynamite
Drinks a pint of Thatcher's Gold, and then she'd fuck a sausage roll
WILD CIDER WIFE it only takes a pint
Drops her bags and shows her arse while she's dancing on the bar
Daytime wife: reputation- spotless, night-time wife: inebriation- topless
Don't make light of her saggy knockers- if you mock her tits- apocalypse!
New tattoo just above her stocking
Arrow shows where to put your cock in- it says: "CUNT THIS WAY"
WILD CIDER WIFE lives two different lives
Her knickers turn a smelly brown when she's drinking Merrydown
WILD CIDER WIFE ripped holes in her tights
If you go deaf and there's a funny taste- she'll be sitting on your face
WILD CIDER WIFE fighting every night
The children find her frightening when she drinks white lightening
When she's drinking Stowford Press she always makes the Macc Express
I asked her not to stay out late because we've got that garden fete
She'll batter you, and your bird when she's drinking Kopparberg
She pissed upon a sleeping tramp in the doorway of the Midland Bank
She'll come back home caked in jizz if you slip her eight Inches