Married I Can Always Get

She starts taking him to visit her married friends

Especially the ones with cute little children

And she talks about how you can buy lots of things on time

Like furniture, and refrigerators

And when you're out walking she slows down

And stops at every jewelry store

Where know where the wedding rings are

And that's when you must stop!

And say in plain English that anyone can understand

It's not my cup of tea

They won't throw rice at me

For a while yet

I have no plan to wed

To watch my bride be led

Down the aisle yet

With a smile yet

When the organ plays, oh promise me

I will be an absentee

For the knots I choose to be fancy free

They can throw old shoes but they won't hit me

Not me

I want to dance

Until the darkest heavens turn grey

Until the dawn strolls in with the day

Then I'll say, "Don't let the band get away!"

But matrimony, I'm not ready yet

Married I can always get

It's not for me

With all it's smug connubial joys

That of a constant smashing of toys

Wrecks your poise

I'd rather be out with the boys

I want no part of that deadly duet

Married I can always get

I'll live the life that I'm used to

I'll buy a ring when I choose to

Because by now I have found

That the nicest rings are on a merry-go-round

I hate the thought of any sort of permanent tie

And with so many girls for each guy

I defy the demand to exceed the supply

So as for wedlock, unlock me my pet

Married I can always get