Be More Chill, Pt. 1

You see, human social activity is governed by rules

And I have the processing capacity to understand those rules and pass them on to you

C - c - c - c - c - c'mon

Jeremy, can't you see?

Your operating system is outdated

C'mon

Boo, you know that you

Make everyone around you nauseated

Hey, I've arrived now

This is not a drill

Hey, I've arrived, wow!

Won't be long until

You wi - i - i - i - i - i - ill

Be more chill

Take your hands out of your pockets

Arch your back, puff out your chest

Add some swagger to your gate or

You'll look like a masturbator

Fix your posture, then the rest

Oh, but I am a masturbator

We'll fix that

All your nerdiness is ugly

I though I was more of a geek?

All your stammering's a chore

Wha- stammer? No, I-I don't stammer, I don't know, wha-

Your ticks and fidgets are persistent

And your charm is nonexistent

Fix your vibe, then fix some more

B - nu - B- ah - No - that's - Stop - no

Oh, everything about you is so terrible

Terrible?

Terrible

Awe

Oh, everything about you makes me want to die

Ugh...

So don't freak out and don't resist

And have no doubt if I assist

You wi - i - i - i - i - i - ill be more chill

Now, the first thing you need to change is your shirt

Buy that one!

It says Eminem

If you're so astute, what so you need me for?

Do people still listen to Eminem?

Irrelevant

My quantum structure enables me to envision possible futures

I envision a future in which you wear an Eminem shirt and things turn out well

Oh, everything about you is so terrible

(Everything about you sucks, everything about you sucks)

Oh, everything about you makes me want to die

(Everything about you sucks, everything about you sucks)

All the people in the mall think you are such a slob

(You're a slob, terrible, such a slob)

And boy, can I see why

Now you try picking a shirt... that's a girl shirt

Jerry?

Jerry-me!

Greet the beta

The be- oh. Hi, Brooke

You look sexy-

I can't to a hot girl, gaaa

Don't smile. Stare intensely like you don't care about your own death

LOOKING PRETTY SEXY, BROO-KE

Thanks. Is that a girl's shirt?

NO! Yes, yes. Repeat after me

I saw it in the window and I couldn't dismiss

(I saw it in the window and I couldn't dismiss)

I was dating a girl and she had a shirt just like this

(I was dating a girl and she had a shirt just like this, hehe)

It's still painful

(It's still painful)

So who was this mystery girl?

Oh, you've probably never heard of-

Madeline

(Madeline)

What?

She's fre-e-e-e-ench

She is not French. She just pretends to be for attention

Madeline broke up with you?

Yea- NO, I mean.

I broke up with her

(I broke up with her)

Cause she was cheating on me

(She was cheating on me-E-e-E-ee ah)

Hey Hamlet, be more chill

Brooke is gonna offer you a ride

It's imperative you accept