khalil pt.1

khalil my brother

i'm so happy i got to know you

it's an honor to say that i was once your friend

i had met you

through javi and through tj

when they brought you to my apartment in tampa

we were playing

drinking games on the coffee table

and you threw up cause you weren't used

to the way it felt

you were embarrassed

and i told you hey man it's okay

and at least it didn't get on the carpet and then we laughed

but who would've thought

that we would get to meet that way

and that slowly get to see each other much more

and i would drive

about 20 minutes each way

just to pick you up and have you in my home

you would sleep in

on my green little Ikea futon

about twice to maybe 5 times a week

and i didn't mind

for it had loved you

for your kindness and genuine compassion

for your smile and your dumb little jokes

and the way you were there

and i'd cry about the past

like how fucked up i got from graham

you would get me and help my to move one to what's next

and when you were down

i'd be there always to hear you out

with my open arms and maybe some food

while you let it out

i can't forget you

even if tried

even if i'm tired

and i crash out

and i wish i did more

wish i could've saw

all the fucking signs

when i left town

i won't forget you

even if i lose

even if i cant

remember myself

and i wish i knew more

wish i could've stayed

would've been around

to help you out

i will honor

you the only way that i know how

khalil mon frere

i will miss you for all of my life

and will carry this guilt until the day i die