Big Red Arthur

Hark! This is the night

Where Big Red Arthur tries to make it right

And I, I was a child

I couldn't win, I could see

And this is where, Big Red Arthur.

Slides down the chimney and lands on spikes

He lands on spikes (He lands on spikes!)

He will never, ever, see Christmas!

And every single one of those business men

Who dine on their foie gras tonight

Drop drawers and count to ten

With a finger in your mouth: you bite!

Sometimes you watch the news

And you've seen terrible things

Sometimes you've got to choose

Which crooks the hangman swings

And I know Big Red Arthur is laughing

As he bids adieu, to this hideous world

Boxing Day, Mum and Dad

Explain ballistics

It's all so sad

Lies, more of the same

And the gifts that we were promised

Never came

So I, I walked into town

Threw rocks at windows and passed the time

I passed the time (I passed the time!) (Time!)

And I shall always never forget this

When suddenly a chill upon my neck takes form

As a bird made out of fire and snakes...

And he gives me a strangest peck he says

'Let's go out for tea and cakes'

Sometimes you roll the dice, sometimes the dice roll you

Christmas can be so nice but it can be awful too

And somewhere out there!

There's another Big Red Arthur

Greasing up his body...

To go down with you!