Deal with the Dark

How did I even get here

I swear I was fine just yesterday

Said I'd move on, said I'd be strong, but now I'm slipping anyway

Been years since the worst of it, so why do I still feel the weight

Why do I wake up already exhausted, feeling like it's too damn late

I tell them I'm okay, yeah, I smile, say I'm getting there

But the truth is, I don't even know if I still care

Lost focus at work, falling behind, but I laugh it off

Inside I hear them talking-"Man, he used to be on top."

Yeah, I know I let them down, I see the way they glance

Like they're scared to ask if I'm alright, but hoping I'll take the chance

But how do you explain that nothing's wrong-nothing new

Just the same old weight pressing down, turning black into blue

Let me make a deal with the dark

Take these thoughts and tear them apart

I don't want to keep on drowning

I don't want to hear the counting

Let me sleep, let me breathe

Let me fade into the deep

If you want my soul, take it all

Just don't let me fall... again.

I should be better by now, that's what they all say

"You've come so far, you're stronger now," but I don't feel that way

Took all the right steps, followed all the plans

Therapy, deep talks, opened up, gave it all a chance

So why do I still feel stuck in rewind

Every little thing turns into a landslide

My friends check in, but I leave them on read

Not 'cause I don't love them, just don't know what to say instead

How do you say, "Hey man, I think I lost myself?"

How do you admit that even breathing doesn't help?

I put on my mask, yeah, I play my role.

But I'm running on fumes, and it's taking its toll.

Let me make a deal with the dark

Take these thoughts and tear them apart

I don't want to keep on drowning

I don't want to hear the counting

Let me sleep, let me breathe

Let me fade into the deep

If you want my soul, take it all

Just don't let me fall... again