Break Down

Hey, livin' like a mess, tryna numb my pain

Battlin' the demons in my mind all day

Either I'm fucked up or I'm insane

Pop a pill, have a drink, don't break down

Hey, livin' like a mess, tryna numb my pain

Battlin' the demons in my mind all day

Either I'm fucked up or I'm insane

Pop a pill, have a drink, don't break down

Let's flash back to a moment in time

When I was just a troubled youth tryna cope with his mind

With psychedelics, cocaine and some smokin aside

When I was broke and overdosed and was hopin' to die

Yeah, I guess the damaged of feelin' fuckin' abandoned

Left me torn so I was slammin' like every drug I was handed

I managed 'til I ran out then ravaged through my dad's house

Gather all my shit so I could sell it for a bag now

I couldn't tell that I was losin' myself

And that the drugs only added to confusion I felt

And when the homies hit me up I was refusing to help

'Cause I was busy tryna make a fuckin' noose with a belt

But I was lonely and sick of feelin' depressed

I was runnin' out of options and ways to cope with the stress

I thought I'd feel bliss when the reaper came to collect

'Cause I'm done with the pain

I'd rather hang to my death and say

Hey, livin' like a mess, tryna numb my pain

Battlin' the demons in my mind all day

Either I'm fucked up or I'm insane

Pop a pill, have a drink, don't break down

Hey, livin' like a mess, tryna numb my pain

Battlin' the demons in my mind all day

Either I'm fucked up or I'm insane

Pop a pill, have a drink, don't break down

I never thought that my life would end when I'm seventeen

Now I'm writing notes to my family I thought I'd never leave

But all this pain I've been feeling, it's time to set it free

Time to turn this torturous life of mine to a severed dream

I waited 'til it was late and family was sleepin'

Was thinkin' 'bout death

I wasn't thinkin' 'bout 'em grievin'

I thought that when they read the note they'd understand my reasons

So I crept downstairs, time to finally conquer my demons

I grabbed the booze plus a bottle of pills

Ran 'em back up to my room feelin' hollow with chills

Wasn't nervous, I was ready, I was confident still

Put a dozen in my palm and started poppin' to kill

Yeah, I'm finally doing it, time to call in the eulogist

I got what I deserved, I took my life and I ruined it

Thirty minutes later my feelin's started to fade

Went from fallin' out of love to fallin' into my grave

I'm gettin' woozy and passin' out in my bed

I was fadin' in and out, a few moments away from death

But somethin' in my stomach was travelin' up my chest

I just fell to the floor and started puking up red

And now the medicine is coverin' my hands

They were drenched in it

This is not the way that it was planned

I crawled to my bed, I was barely able to stand

This is not what I intended, I got myself in a jam

I fucked up, I was broken and weak

I never wanted to die, I wanted a moment of peace

Felt my heart skip a beat when I woke from my sleep

The next day and saw the suicide note at my feet

And thought

Hey, livin' like a mess, tryna numb my pain

Battlin' the demons in my mind all day

Either I'm fucked up or I'm insane

Pop a pill, have a drink, don't break down

Hey, livin' like a mess, tryna numb my pain

Battlin' the demons in my mind all day

Either I'm fucked up or I'm insane

Pop a pill, have a drink, don't break down