I Am What I Is

Christopher calls me

He calls me, complaining

He's already waited too long to begin

The world is on one side

And I'm on the other

And I read in a magazine

That I am what I is

I am...

Brian the actor

That he does on Saturdays

With nothing but a bowtie

He would bring me a drink

He tells me he sweats it

Like a pig in a blanket

And I ran out of toothpicks

But that don't mean a thing

And I am... oooh...

Well, autumn will come

And everyone loves you

When you've already won

And I'm here to tell you

That I don't care if

Up turns you down

Just to hear you say

I am what I am

When I am what I is

I am what I am

When I am what I is...

Jeannie is lonely

She lives with her parents

She saves all her money

So she can spend it in Spain

Her boss doesn't get it

She says to forget it

I told her we're different

But she knows we're the same

And I am... oooh...

Well, autumn will come

And everyone loves you

When you've already won

And I'm here to tell you

That I don't care if

Up turns you down

Just to hear you say

I am what I am

When I am what I is

I am what I am

When I am what I is...