Trying to Pass off Playing Merge Games as a Form of Meditation

I tried to find a way to fix what feels like nature, so it's stuck

Hard to embrace what cannot change when it just makes you feel fucked

Some pains, they felt, they vanished after so long unaddressed

When I'm alone too long, I find these feelings were all repressed

Hold my nose and breath and swallow three

My chest bubbles up with escapees

Gulp twice more if body does so please

And then release

And so the method helps you cope, return to memoized routine

So I am pacified by reminders of times my mind was clean

Sure not cure, but distraction is the safest in between

Just to get me through this moment, this hour, this day, this week

Tap legs, tug hair, smoke and stare at screen

Meditation seems too hard for me

But repetition helps these hard thoughts breathe

Zone out reprieve

So contemplation enters self-flagellation easily

I beat myself up, but I'm now speaking metaphysically

The existential dread debilitated with such frequency

So I need coping mechanisms to still leave peacefully

Hiccup cures and counting games I need

Record breaking swallow-fest, indeed

Reasoning fidget behavior, they read

As hyperbole