Psychic To The Stars

I was starin' a hole through CMT

Watchin' ev'rybody else and waitin' for me

I thought by now I'd been a household name

After all, I've had Ish and I Was Mine

And Butt Bigger Than a Beagle's got played all the time

Them funny videos, why they's my claim to fame

Now all of a sudden there's a slew of comedians

Foxworthy ain't ballin' and back comes Ray Stevens

Folks, right there's some serious competition

I started gettin' a little bit paranoid

Heck, if this keeps up I'll be unemployed

Then out of the blue it came to me in a vision

Now I'm the sidekick to the stars

They call me up from wherever they are

I'm always overbooked, and Lord

My phone rings off the hook

I'm the sidekick to the stars

Ha ha, I told Tim and Faith they oughta tie the knot

Why you think Theda Carter's so hot?

Boy, I'd shave my legs for a sip of that strawberry wine

When Mindy McCready's on my caller ID

I take her call immediately

Ten thousand angels couldn't get me off of that line

Garth Brooks called dang near a hundred times

But I was too busy consultin' Leann Rimes

Tryin' to predict the number of albums she'd sold

Last night I had Brooks and Dunn on a conference call

They said, "Cleetus, would you look into your crystal ball?"

I said, "I'd love to boys, but I got Tanya Tucker on hold"

Gotta go!

I'm the sidekick to the stars

They call me up from wherever they are

I'm always overbooked, and Lord

My phone rings off the hook

I'm the sidekick to the stars

Now I got a new career

And I charge a hefty fee

Why, it worked for me on Maury

Now it works for Cleetus T

Call me!

I'm the sidekick to the stars

They call me up from wherever they are

I got a clairvoyant sense for a feller that's so dense

I'm the sidekick to the stars

Just call the sidekick to the stars