I was starin' a hole through CMT
Watchin' ev'rybody else and waitin' for me
I thought by now I'd been a household name
After all, I've had Ish and I Was Mine
And Butt Bigger Than a Beagle's got played all the time
Them funny videos, why they's my claim to fame
Now all of a sudden there's a slew of comedians
Foxworthy ain't ballin' and back comes Ray Stevens
Folks, right there's some serious competition
I started gettin' a little bit paranoid
Heck, if this keeps up I'll be unemployed
Then out of the blue it came to me in a vision
Now I'm the sidekick to the stars
They call me up from wherever they are
I'm always overbooked, and Lord
My phone rings off the hook
I'm the sidekick to the stars
Ha ha, I told Tim and Faith they oughta tie the knot
Why you think Theda Carter's so hot?
Boy, I'd shave my legs for a sip of that strawberry wine
When Mindy McCready's on my caller ID
I take her call immediately
Ten thousand angels couldn't get me off of that line
Garth Brooks called dang near a hundred times
But I was too busy consultin' Leann Rimes
Tryin' to predict the number of albums she'd sold
Last night I had Brooks and Dunn on a conference call
They said, "Cleetus, would you look into your crystal ball?"
I said, "I'd love to boys, but I got Tanya Tucker on hold"
Gotta go!
I'm the sidekick to the stars
They call me up from wherever they are
I'm always overbooked, and Lord
My phone rings off the hook
I'm the sidekick to the stars
Now I got a new career
And I charge a hefty fee
Why, it worked for me on Maury
Now it works for Cleetus T
Call me!
I'm the sidekick to the stars
They call me up from wherever they are
I got a clairvoyant sense for a feller that's so dense
I'm the sidekick to the stars
Just call the sidekick to the stars