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Now listen to my story, boys
I need your sympathy
The tattooed lady in the circus
Fell in love with me
And just to prove her love was sweet as Camp Tidi
She had my picture tattooed on her body
She has the landing of the pilgrims on her shoulders
And on her back she has the sunset of the west
And right beside her dimpled knees
She has two great big apple trees
And the pyramids look lovely on her chest
And when she decided that she'd like to add my picture on
She simply couldn't find a vacant spot, you see
So she tattooed my poor face in a most peculiar place
Now whenever she sits down she sits on me
She has a small gardenia tattooed on her elbow
And on her hip she has the lovely Queen of Nair
And right beneath her shapely spine
If you saw that pal of mine
You would see the famous road to Mandalay
She has a rusty hinge that's tattooed on her kneecap
It looks so real it squeaks each time she bends her knee
But she fills me with disgrace
When she tattoos my poor face
So whenever she sits down she sits on me
Now do you wonder why I'm looking sad and worried?
Do you wonder why I'm feeling mighty low?
I'd like to take a chance
And kick her right square in the pants
But if I do I'd only kick myself, I know
The only time that anyone can see my picture
Is when that tattooed lady takes her bath, oh gee
I get black and blue of course
Every time she rides the horse
'Cause whenever she sits down she sits on me
Whenever she sits down she sits on me