A Modern Man

Thank you very much, I appreciate it. Thank you. I appreciate it

I'm a modern man, a man for the millennium, digital and smoke-free

A diversified, multicultural, postmodern deconstructionist

Politically, anatomically, and ecologically incorrect

I've been uplinked and downloaded, I've been inputted and outsourced

I know the upside of downsizing, I know the downside of upgrading

I'm a high-tech lowlife, a cutting-edge

State-of-the-art, bicoastal multitasker

And I can give you a gigabyte in a nanosecond

I'm new-wave, but I'm old-school, and my inner child is outward-bound

I'm a hot-wired, heat-seeking, warm-hearted, cool customer

Voice-activated and biodegradable

I interface with my database, my database is in cyberspace

So I'm interactive, I'm hyperactive

And from time to time I'm radioactive

Behind the eight ball, ahead of the curve, riding

The wave, dodging the bullet, pushing the envelope

I'm on point, on task, on message, and off drugs

I got no need for coke and speed, I got no urge to binge and purge

I'm in the moment, on the edge, over the top, but under the radar

A high-concept, low-profile, medium-range ballistic missionary

A streetwise smart bomb, a top-gun bottom feeder

I wear power ties, I tell power lies

I take power naps, I run victory laps

I'm a totally ongoing, bigfoot, slam-

Dunk rainmaker with a proactive outreach

A raging workaholic, a working rageaholic, out of rehab, and in denial

I got a personal trainer, a personal shopper

A personal assistant, and a personal agenda

You can't shut me up, you can't dumb me down

'Cause I'm tireless and I'm wireless

I'm an alpha male on beta-blockers

I'm a nonbeliever and an overachiever, laid-back but fashion-forward

Upfront, down-home, low-rent, high-maintenance

Supersized, long-lasting, high-definition

Fast-acting, oven-ready, and built to last

I'm a hands-on, footloose, knee-jerk headcase, prematurely post-

Traumatic, and I have a love child who sends me hate mail