Crumpledbigskin

I want to create

To maybe find those who relate

But my struggles feel inadequate

And all I make just simulates

What I can't explain

And it feels like I feign

These difficulties opportunistically

To capitalize off my pain

To make art from something difficult

I know it can be healing

But how much do I rely on self-destructive feelings?

Will I better myself if the fuel for the fire

Is demoralizing patterns?

Is it really constructive to wait for the next bad thing to happen?

Is it inspiration?

Is it a way of confronting?

Am I stagnating?

Or am I overcoming?

I feel like sharing this

Is so unbecoming

And though I want to vent and pay the rent

Perhaps it's better to do nothing

How much do I undermine?

My own and others' trauma

When I quickly repurpose it

As sellable melodrama?

Sometimes I doubt myself so much

Are my tragedies authentic?

Or just a creative writing tool

For me to make a buck quick?

Well, if someone I love dies

Will I find I start to write

An entire concept album

About how they're no longer alive?

And will it really be needed

To profit from the process?

Does it come from a need to make art to survive

Or just dramatic excess?

And if there's a fire

And I think I'm gonna die

The more I repeat it

The more it feels like a lie

Well, it's not that bad

Well, at least, at least, at least

Well, at least I didn't die

So that is song could be released

To make art from something difficult

I know it can be healing

But how much do I rely on self-destructive feelings?

Will I better myself if the fuel for the fire

Is demoralizing patterns?

Is it really constructive to wait for the next bad thing to happen?