Indian In-Laws

They're my Indian in-laws

Came to visit me and my squaw

Been here for a month y'all

I'm 'bout to lose my mind

I'm sick and tired of her paw-paw

Eatin' all of my bear claws

While he's watchin' ol' hee-haws

And drinkin' all my wine

I'm gonna scalp her maw-maw

Making long distance phone calls

To her friends in Arkansas

Talkin' on my dime

They're my Indian in-laws

They're drivin' me up the dang wall

Using all of my dental floss

And leave the room smelling bad

They moved into my wigwam

God Almighty, they're big bums

They order filet mignons

And stick me with the tab

They're hanging 'round my teepee

Can't wear my Buffalo briefs

Ain't had me no whoopee

Since week for last

They're my Indian in-laws

Hooked on Ex-Lax and Geritol

Have to run 'em to the shopping mall

Four times a day

Every single day

Seven days a week

My nerves are about shot

They are worryin' me to death

Sittin' there clipping toenails

Chain-smoking them Pell Mells

Wish they'd get them a motel

But they're too cheap to pay

Pretty soon if they don't leave

I'll take a pipe and pop his knee

Like Tanya did Nancy

They're skating on thin ice

I'll take my bow and arrow

Pretend I'm shootin' at a sparrow

I might miss and uhh oh

Hit her maw-maw's behind

They're my Indian in-laws

Might be kin to Tim McGraw

But they came to me, naw

Might have to leave my wife

'Cause my Indian in-laws

Came to visit me and my squaw

Been here for a month y'all

I'm about to lose my mind

Oh, one little, two little, three little Indians

Four little, five little, six little Indians