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The Diagnosis (Genshin Impact Fan Musical)
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That's why rooming with Alhaitham is the worst
Oh, and another thing
He's been wearing my limited edition weasel house slippers!
Ugh, Kaveh, stop complaining about Alhaitham
Besides, why would he wear your slippers?
He's so much richer than you
If he wanted, he could buy thousands of them
On top of everything else
I think I'm getting sick
At the mention of Alhaitham maybe
Kaveh, as a Forest Watcher
I've seen my share of ailments
If you'd like, with Cyno's help I can diagnose you
Do you think this is serious?
Tell me what you see!
Cheeks are sunken
Like an old man's as he dies
What?!
And from the bulging of your eyes
You've got the most severe of cases
That's just how my face is!
Posture's shrunken
Nausea is your new routine
It's up to us to intervene
And shed a light on what your symptoms mean
All the indicators tell us, you're jealous
Huh?!
It's safe to say Alhaitham's great renown
In Teyvat brings you down
They tell us, you're jealous
You're diagnosed
Let's toast to nature's laws
Your symptoms have a cause
This is crazy!
What makes you think I'm jealous of Alhaitham?!
It's his look, it's his vibe
It's his status as a Scribe
Bet you nag him like a spouse
Because you can't afford his house (Hey!)
It's the "clap, clap, claps" he got as Acting Grand Sage
Do you snap, snap, snap
Because his youth reminds you of your age?
Turn the page
It could be the fact that you want his wage
Since you're always short of mora
You know dept like I know flora
For a second just reflect
And respect our intellect
Our theory isn't off-the-cuff it's obvious
I've had enough!
Fellas, he's jealous
Oh, come on!
No wonder why
If I was broke as you
I'd feel pathetic too
As clues accrue
They tell us, you're jealous
You're diagnosed
Let's toast to nature's laws
Your symptoms have a cause
You've been in denial a while
But it'd be best
If you confessed the way you really feel
You'd share it, we'd hear it
Your spirit would soar
There's no need to conceal
What could help you to heal
So tell us
You're jealous
We're zealous
Cause we've been there before
You'd share it, we'd hear it
Your spirit would soar
Tell us you're jealous
The truth is a useful tool
Tell us you're jealous
Let's move on, so we can duel
Tell us you're jealous
You don't have to play pretend
Tell us you're jealous
Or this song will never end!
I'm jealous!
I knew it
Alhaitham?!
Yay!