Shaftesbury Avenue

I think you're waiting for someone

And I think he's not going to show

And there's this little place round the corner

You want to go?

Uptown, charcoal and braziers

Uptown, where the traffic is crazier

Uptown, where the people are racier

And the stage door is unlit

Uptown, I'm going up there just as I am

Gonna dance down the roofs and the traffic jam

Uptown, 'cause I've got something that's itching me

And here's where I'm gonna scratch it

Appearing in the West End

Tottenham Hotspurs with Rolex handshakes and crocodile suntans

Appearing in the West End

Japs and prunes, cops and robbers

Touts with faces like the Phantom of the Opera

Council house tarts in cocktail bars looking for a boyfriend

Appearing in the West End

Beavers in the ditch, falcon down the pan

Feasts in the dustbin

Appearing in the West End

Jerrard Street girl

Watch as I gold mine

Hungry blue eyes below your window

If I could just speak Cantonese

You could be my best friend

Appearing in the West End

There's some great entertainment lined up for me on BBC 1

But meet me on Shaftesbury Avenue, operating for fun

Looking for a good time

A sophisticated sister so much better at life than me

Meet me on Shaftesbury Avenue

Talk to me, dance with me

Make love with me, make me somebody

Uptown, walking all night, all alone

Uptown, through the entertainment zone

Uptown, searching for sweet oblivion

Till the bitter end

Uptown, nothing comes to him who waits

Uptown, no free lunches, no dinner dates

Uptown, got to take your chance at a back door dance

With a very special friend

Appearing in the West End

Stud and princesses in sherbet stilettos

And matte black toy boys acting like heroes

Businessman sleaze, whips made of licorice