Modern Romance

I put an ad in the local paper

Modern woman seeking modern man

I've collected all the data

I've decided, it's my only chance

And when I find that person, baby

We'll only listen to the modern bands

We'll only watch modern TV

You'll only catch us wearing modern brands

Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha, oh

Well, at first we'll take things slow

But if you wanna speed it up a little

I'll be ready to go

I can be the one in your covers, baby

I can take you out, you don't have to stay

We don't stand a chance

In modern romance

I can make your other lovers hate me

You can't get enough when you get a taste

We don't stand a chance

In modern romance

Ah, ah, ah

If you're looking for love

Just call me

Call me

I'll meet your dog, you can meet my parents

I'll let it slide, but I'm kind of a cat person

I'll cut your bangs with the kitchen scissors

We do the big shop on a Thursday

I, ah-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha, I

I will hold you when you cry

But if you wanna speed it up a little

I'll be ready tonight

I can be the one in your covers, baby

I can take you out, you don't have to stay

We don't stand a chance

In modern romance

I can make your other lovers hate me

You can't get enough when you get a taste

We don't stand a chance

In modern romance

You asked for this (ooh)

You come here often? (Ooh)

What'd you do for the work? (Yeah, yeah, yeah)

Honey, please don't cry

I was tryna flirt (ooh)

You got any siblings? (Ooh)

Do you have any pets? (Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah)

Oh, you're DJ?

It was going so well (ooh)

Here's a compliment (ooh)

Now here's another one (yeah, yeah, yeah)

Here's a funny joke