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You barkin' at me? you barkin' at me?
Well, i'm the only one here
Who the ruff do you think you're barkin' to?
Oh yeah. ok. bang!
Yayyyy!
Wowwee, mutt! you touch my soul every time!
If i had some crumbs to give, they'd be all yours!
Ah, shucks guys
Putting a little joy into the world is what it's all about
A clown doctor at the vet
Healing patients with the funnies
You're like that, but better!
It's just something me and dragon are working on
It's getting there
Since that damn bike took this old wing
Flying has been only a distant dream
But watching you--i am transported!
Gonna see you on a hollywood billboard one day
Yeah. that'll prove us outcasts can touch the sky, too
Sorry to cut things short, everyone
But we have a more pressing engagement
Hey, dragon
Mutt, another "taxi driver" monologue
Is not what is going to get us adopted
But it's something those loser humans will respect
And you taught it to me
Tonight is our last opportunity for a better life
And we are blowing it!
Our best opportunity is getting me on the big screen
Not into some lame "forever" home
We handi-capable pets need a hero!
Doing that without a human is impossible
Nothing's impossible, dragon...squirrel!
As long as we don't give up the chase
Bark! bark! bark!
We'll never survive like this!
You just lay on your back
Give your body a wiggle
Take your four legs for a jog
2, 3, 4
Flop out your tongue
That'll make your human giggle
Follow the steps, be a good dog
Finding a home for forever is simple
Nibble a bone
Kinda chase your tail a little
If you put on a show
They will never say, "no"
Cause you're making them believe
You're a good dog!
You're making them believe
You're a good dog!
You're making them believe
You are good
Bark! bark! the squirrel is back!
Hey! hey! hey!
I see you mutha ruffa
You're a little sneak
Tryin' to get in a sneak peak
Of goodness
Not this time mutha ruffa!
You need to take your nut-filled cheeks
Find some other wood to mess with
I gotta bark that's deadly, mutha ruffa
You got bark in your teeth
With some oak leaves, mutha ruffa
Test us and watch dogs attack
Ruff!
Turn your whole world blue to black
Ruff!
Trust us you'll never come back!
Get the hell back in formation, you sons of bitches!
Side by side like spectrums of light
Colors meeting just at your paws
A rainbow stretches
Over the clouds
To treasure - this wish of a dog
This wish
Treasure this wish of a dog
To walk into the skies together
Growing closer, moving farther
Faster towards a perfect future
Mothers, fathers, sons and daughters
Watch the seasons pass
A family at laaa-stah!
The squirrel is back!
I see ya, mutha ruffa!
All right. cut it. cut the dogdamn music!
Fish, tell the class
How long have i been in this business?
Thirty-five dog years, maltese
Thirty-five long dog years
And how many dogs have i had successfully adopted?
One hundred and thirty two
One hundred and thirty mutha ruffin' two
The routine works, plain and simple
But if you deviate from it
Which is what i'm seeing...my human'll kick you out
Faster than you can sniff a butt
Sniff a butt!
You want forever homes or not?
Yes, maltese!
Do you want a human that'll love you or not?
Yes, maltese!
Then stop losing focus
Or giving excuses that you got demons in your paws
But i do! ow!
Humans don't want extra
They just want good
Again! and a five and a six and a seven and a
Wait!
We're so sorry we're late!
And we humbly appreciate
This time to participate
Reaping the great, great maltese's aid
There was a squirrel.
It's our day!
Give us the chance
I told you not to come back here, dragon!
Just one more chance!
To do this little routine?
To find this dog a place to
Rest his weary pate!
That means, "heeeeaaaaad!"
She knows that means "head" and it doesn't rhyme
Now please show her how hard
You've been working on this
You're gonna love him!
Give a tilt of your head
That's right
Eyebrows raised for a second
So good
Pointing your nose to your paws
Just like that!
Then you stick out your butt
No
Give your tail a good waggin'
Mutt, no!
It's no fun being a good dog!
Stay on track!
Tame is a door
That has never been opened
Life is a bore
When you live to be house broken
Why not put on a show that is one you control?
Stop making them believe you're a good dog!
You're good dogs
Stop making them believe
You're a good dog!
You're really good dogs
Stop making them believe
You are good!
You're great!
Dragon!
He doesn't mean that. he's not great
No one is. he's just saying there's a simpler way
To wrap up all the good you want to be into one
Here's a little something i came up with
Watch!
Now repeat after me!
Eyes, tongue, whimper
Give a tilt of your head
When you're locked, lick, kiss em'
Till their cheeks turn red
Simple steps to follow
When you're getting ahead
I'm a great dog, damn it!
I'm your next best friend!
Kinda!
Eyes, tongue, whimper
Give a tilt of your head
When you're locked, lick, kiss em'
Till their cheeks turn red
Simple steps to follow
When you're getting ahead
We're some great dogs, damn it
We're your next best friend!
I mean, kinda
Eyes, tongue, whimper
Give a tilt of your head!
When you're locked, lick, kiss em'
Till their cheeks turn red!
Simple steps to follow
When you're getting ahead!
We're some great dogs, damn it
We're your next best friend!
Stop it! stop it, all of you!
You'll never get homes this way!
If you put on a show they will never say, "no"
Cause you're making them believe you're a good dog!
You're making them believe you're a good dog!
You're a good dog! good dog!
You're a good dog! a great dog!
You're making them believe you are good!
Yeah!