Everyone's Hot (And I'm Not)

Everyone’s a model

And I’m a librarian

Everyone’s a corgi

And I’m an Alsatian

Everyone’s birth

And I’m a C-section

Everyone’s a train

I’m a train station

Everyone’s appealing

They all look good

I’d right swipe

If I could

A nice straight girl tells me I look good

But I really really really wish a gay guy would

So I smile say hi

Have I met you before?

Did you like the band?

Yeah I’ve met them before

Then I lean in and he tells me to stop

And everyone’s hot

And I’m not

Everyone’s hot

And I’m not

Everyone’s hot

And I’m not

Everyone’s hot

And I’m not

Everyone’s hot

And I’m not

Everyone’s a model

They’re all Brazilian

I’m a librarian

From wigan

I’ve got one pound

They’ve got one million

Everyone’s a reptile

I’m an amphibian

My bread roll doesn’t taste good to the ducks

And the kids don’t want the candy in my truck

Bad luck bad luck!

This is it, I’m stuck

Giving new meaning to giving zero fucks

Cos I’m cute as a button

But they won’t press me

Everyone’s police

But they don’t arrest me

Everyone’s coke

And I’m Diet Pepsi

Everyone’s a dick

And I’m testes

The guy says ‘hey I’m not into all that

‘I don’t like boys, I like pussy, twat, vagina’

And every other synonym of ‘not me’

So I laugh and say ‘I don’t know what you mean’

Or ‘I was joking’

Go into the smoking section

Look both directions, I’m alone

I feel like a leper

I catch the sight of my reflection

Don’t feel any better