Subcultures

Ha ha ha

Yo

You people crack me up

You know that, don't you?

I've been watching you though

Beady eyed

Check it

I've got some observations for you

Yo

I tried to act sociable with the guys down the local

But soon realized I was being too hopeful

I don't know cars and I can't throw darts

So I knew in my heart that I stood no chance

I tagged along with a gang of vagabonds

But my plans to bond went badly wrong

I got nervous trying to rob purses

Long before the cops surfaced I thought "it's not worth it"

I spent the night with some hippy types

Passing the biggest pipe that I've ever seen in my life

I thought Krusty's were all about love and peace

But they got uppity when I finished off their fucking weed

I tried to get friendly with some trendies

They tried to tell me to get my hair bleached

Know what I thought of their fashion tips?

I said "thanks, but I'm happy with the natural look I've landed with"

I tried to chill with some garage ravers

I can't believe what wankers they were

"Easy one time, inside of the rally club"

You lads with rude attitudes, aren't you ever in a happy mood?

I met some UK hip-hop heads on the internet

Thinking "yes, I've finally met some kids who share my interests"

They spent the next sixty minutes on some whinging flex

Bitching about who they think is better, Chester P or Ghetts

I started chilling with some indie kids

Who dress as if they didn't have a

Penny when they're clearly privileged

Obnoxious, Oxbridge, posh kids in a mosh pit

Watch me as if I was dogshit, I thought "fuck this"

I went to a party full of arty-farty

Wannabe Dalis all dreaming of the day they paint a masterpiece

Charming freaks dressed alarmingly

So you can't perceive the possibility

That artistry's not in their arteries

I met some footy hooligans

Moody cunts who can't remember when they first threw a punch

When I told them that I support no one

They called me a homo and bust my nose open

I met some lads who had recently outed

Who moved like drag queens when they pouted

I tried to think that it shouldn't be a problem

But really we just didn't have a damn thing in common

I met some nasty girls who looked like Barbie dolls

Dressed in Armani clothes, I knew their hearts were cold

They treated me like a thick inbred

With disrespect, and I don't take shit from stick insects

I met a couple into S&M

She was a leggy wench, he was among the most scary men I've ever met

They wanted me to wear leather kecks

Come and sit next to them and be their special friend

At this point I thought I needed help

None of these subcultures offered me a spot where I could be myself

I told them all "fine, do what you like to

But don't let the limits of your past time define you"

Yo

Where's all the normal people gone, man?

The fuck's up with all these little tributaries?

Tribulations of people nowadays

It's all so wrong

It's all so gloriously ridiculous

Ha ha ha ha ha