Avoidant

You knock like thunder on a house I never built

I answer with silence, coated in guilt

You press your warmth into my skin

But love just feels like caving in

I flinch when you say my name too soft

Every kindness feels like a cost

I want you near—God, I do

But not close enough to see what's true

Touch me wrong, and I'll vanish again

I break what I can't let in

You call it love—I call it war

I lock the door, and still want more

I never cry, but I bleed in delay

A thousand exits rehearsed every day

You make me feel, and that's the curse

Needing you just makes it worse

You say you'd wait, you'd stay, you'd try

But I'm the kind that lets good things die

And even as I beg you not to go

I'm already halfway out the window

Touch me wrong, and I'll vanish again

I break what I can't let in

You call it love—I call it war

I lock the door, and still want more

Somewhere, I learned that love is loss

And needing you means paying the cost

So I'll sleep alone, I'll hold my breath

Call it safety, call it death

Don't wait for me—I'm not coming back

This heart's a ruin, this soul's a crack

But if you ever hear me in a song

Know I loved you—all along