Текст пісні
My name's Chip, I'm an Elf on the Shelf...
and this season, I've seen things.
So many twinkling things.
They said, "Sit still and spread the cheer,"
But baby, the cheer got wild this year!
They were "trimming the tree till it glowed,"
Then "testing the stockings" for how far they'd go.
Oh, bless his tiny heart!
Mmm-hmm… needs hazard pay.
This Elf on the Shelf needs therapy,
From all that sugar-rush energy!
They were "roasting chestnuts," "ringing their bells,"
"Sliding down chimneys"—I won't tell!
Every "silent night" was loud to me,
This Elf on the Shelf needs therapy!
They were "licking their peppermints, slow and sweet,"
"Riding their candy canes" to the beat.
Someone "polished a sleigh" till sparks took flight,
Said they were "warming up for Christmas night."
Too spicy for cocoa!
And yet… somehow minty.
This Elf on the Shelf needs therapy,
My peppermint nerves need clarity!
They were "checking the nice list," checking it twice,
Swiping like it's *North-Pole Grindr* tonight!
I need a snow-couch and a guarantee,
This Elf on the Shelf needs therapy!
My therapist's a snowman—says "chill, don't stress,"
But he melts each time I confess.
Told me "breathe deep, find inner peace,"
But all I can smell is cinnamon grease!
Oh, bless his frosted soul!
He's drippin', not dealin'.
This Elf on the Shelf needs therapy,
There's only so much jingle one elf can see!
They keep "stuffing their stockings," "wrapping their toys,"
I'm begging Saint Nick for a little noise-canceling joy!
So deck your halls, but think of me—
This Elf on the Shelf… needs therapy!
I'm transferring…
Maybe Valentine's.
At least there the hearts are honest.