I Wish I Had an Evil Twin

I wish I had an evil twin

running 'round doing people in

I wish I had a very bad

and evil twin to do my will

to cull and conquer, cut and kill

just like I would

if I weren't good

and if I knew where to begin

down and down we go

how low no one would know

sometimes the good life wears thin

I wish I had an evil twin

my evil twin would lie and steal

and he would stink of sex appeal

all men would writhe

beneath his scythe

he'd send the pretty ones to me

and they would think that I was he

I'd hurt them and I'd go scot free

I'd get no blame and feel no shame

'cause evil's not my cup of tea

down and down we go

how low one would not need to know

all my life there should have been

an evil twin