Текст пісні
Oh ho ho, my stars
They've decked the halls straight out of the clearance bin
This is not the spirit, honey
This is a cry for help
Strolling downtown, cocoa in hand
Feeling cute, had a plan
Until I saw that stand
Window number one, girl, avert your eyes
It's giving Christmas migraine in a discount disguise
Tastic snow, cotton fluff
That's not festing, that's a ration fluff
Candy canes, all droopy and sad
Who staged this mess
Your stepdad, Chad
Oh, what fresh hell is this
How can sparkle look so wrong
It's a fever dream of glitter
And the lights are ten miles long
My poor eyes are weeping
I can taste the peppermint mist
Oh, darling, grab your shades and pray
What fresh hell is this
What fresh hell is this
Oh, window number two's a spectacle crime
Like Vegas got drunk on holiday time
I see inflatable elves and a singing snowcat
Even Frosty's smoking
I can't with that
Fake snowflakes!
They're paper plates!
Festive mannequins!
With duct-tape waists!
Reindeer tree!
That's pure distress!
Even Martha Stewart would scream, "God bless!"
Oh, what fresh hell is this
Someone call the style police
There's a snowman made of spackle
And he's melting in the heat
This holiday's a circus
And I did not RSVP to this list
Oh, honey, deck the halls
But please
Not like this
I turn the corner, boom
Retinal burn a house so bright
You could see it from Saturn
The lights are dancing
To Hot Girl Summer
Sweet sleigh bells, it's a festive bummer
Too much, too loud
So wrong, so proud
And yet somehow
I'm proud
Oh, what fresh hell is this