Thick as a Brick (Pt. I) [1997 Remaster]

Really don't mind if you sit this one out

My words but a whisper your deafness a SHOUT

I may make you feel but I can't make you think

Your sperm's in the gutter your love's in the sink

So you ride yourselves over the fields

and you make all your animal deals

and you wise men don't know how it feels

to be thick as a brick

And the sand-castle virtues are all swept away

in the tidal destruction the moral melee

The elastic retreat rings the close of play

as the last wave uncovers the newfangled way

But your new shoes are worn at the heels

and your suntan does rapidly peel

and your wise men don't know how it feels

to be thick as a brick.

And the love that I feel

is so far away

I'm a bad dream that I just had today

and you shake your head

and say it's a shame

Spin me back down the years

and the days of my youth

Draw the lace and black curtains

and shut out the whole truth

Spin me down the long ages

let them sing the song

See there! A son is born

and we pronounce him fit to fight

There are black-heads on his shoulders

and he pees himself in the night

We'll make a man of him

put him to trade

teach him to play Monopoly

and how to sing in the rain

The Poet and the Painter

casting shadows on the water

as the sun plays on the infantry

returning from the sea

The do-er and the thinker

no allowance for the other

as the failing light illuminates

the mercenary's creed.

The home fire burning: 0

the kettle almost boiling

but the master of the house is far away

The horses stamping

their warm breath clouding

in the sharp and frosty morning of the day

And the poet lifts his pen

while the soldier sheaths his sword

And the youngest of the family

is moving with authority

Building castles by the sea

he dares the tardy tide

to wash them all aside

The cattle quietly grazing

at the grass down by the river

where the swelling mountain water

moves onward to the sea

The builder of the castles

renews the age-old purpose

and contemplates the milking girl

whose offer is his need

The young men of the household

have all gone into service

and are not to be expected for a year

The innocent young master

thoughts moving ever faster

has formed the plan to change the man he seems

And the poet sheaths his pen

while the soldier lifts his sword

And the oldest of the family

is moving with authority

coming from across the sea

he challenges the son

who puts him to the run

What do you do when the old man's gone

do you want to be him?

And your real self sings the song

Do you want to free him?

No one to help you get up steam

and the whirlpool turns you 'way off-beam

I've come down from the upper class

to mend your rotten ways

My father was a man-of-power

whom everyone obeyed

So come on all you criminals!

I've got to put you straight

just like I did with my old man

twenty years too late

Your bread and water's going cold

Your hair is too short and neat

I'll judge you all and make damn sure

that no-one judges me

You curl your toes in fun

as you smile at everyone

you meet the stares

you're unaware that your doings aren't done

And you laugh most ruthlessly

as you tell us what not to be

But how are we supposed

to see where we should run?

I see you shuffle in the courtroom

with your rings upon your fingers

and your downy little sidies

and your silver-buckle shoes.

Playing at the hard case,

you follow the example

of the comic-paper idol

who lets you bend the rules.

So!

Come on ye childhood heroes!

Won't you rise up from the pages

of your comic-books

your super crooks

and show us all the way

Well! Make your will and testament

Won't you? Join your local government

We'll have Superman for president

let Robin save the day

You put your bet on number one

and it comes up every time

The other kids have all backed down

and they put you first in line

And so you finally ask yourself

just how big you are

and take your place in a wiser world

of bigger motor cars

And you wonder who to call on

So! Where the hell was Biggles

when you needed him last Saturday?

And where were all the sportsmen

who always pulled you though?

They're all resting down in Cornwall

writing up their memoirs

for a paper-back edition

of the Boy Scout Manual