Funkbot 10,000 [Live from the Royal Albert Hall's Basement Cloakroom]

The scientists at CERN

Were violently divided

Is it pronounced 'gwee dance'

Or is it pronounced 'gwhy dance'?

Physically fightin' round

The Large Hadron Collider

When suddenly a sound

Comes rumblin' from inside her

The boss of science opens up the lid

And from within a metal thing

Comes out with arms and legs and shit

It pokes a trumpet from it's head

Opens up it's mouth and says

(Trumpet noises)

FunkBot ten thousand (I'm a funky robot)

He travelled here through time and space

To fix the shit that needs sorting

FunkBot ten thousand (Obey the funk)

The scientists put down their fists

And all take up the jazz organ

Two wicked criminals doing the unthinkable

Robbing a civilian the pinnacle of pitiful

He's acting tough but they call his bluff

Saying "Give us your stuff or

We'll kill you and stuff"

But suddenly a sound comes from behind

A funky riff keeping perfect time

(Trumpet noises)

FunkBot ten thousand (I'm a funky robot)

The thugs became masseuses and

Both gave the man a nice facial

FunkBot so arousing (Obey the funk)

Just plug him in and you'll see all

His sexy hip thrust gyrations

When life gets tough and causes you to fret

If you're feeling overwhelmed by

Insurmountable consumer debt

Don't fret on taxes

No stress with rent bills

FunkBot's got saxes in place of his genitals

(Trumpet noises, Get down)

FunkBot ten thousand (I'm a funky robot)

Thank you, FunkBot, that lick was nice

But do you have any actual financial advice?

FunkBot

FunkBot? (Funk funky funk)

A man lies dying on the floor

He's broken ten ribs, maybe more

FunkBot to the rescue, damn

That's one hell of a funky jam! (Funk)