Ten Milligram

Crashed up on a countertop

White dust in a Ziploc, backroom talk

Mom's texts lighting up my phone

I flip it face down like I'm already gone

Hit it once, tongue numb, slow grin

Just a little taste, that's how it begins

Whole room breathing in slow frames

Time drips sideways, can't remember my name

It was one, one, one

I swear I got this, I'm fine

Ten milligram truth in a twenty-bag dream

Turned my whole life into somebody's meme, yeah

I said I'd quit next week

Now I'm sweating through my sheets

Ten milligram truth, hundred dollar scream

Chasing that first time I felt clean

Selling my sneakers for a late-night ride

Same hoodie, same alley, dead eyes outside

Dealer says, "Damn, you back again?"

I laugh too loud, pretend he's my friend

Sister hid her purse in the oven door

Dad changed the lock on the liquor drawer

I change my story every single day

Same shaky promise said a different way

It was one, one, one

I swear I got this, I'm fine

Ten milligram truth in a twenty-bag dream

Turned my whole life into somebody's meme, yeah

I said I'd quit next week

Now I'm sweating through my sheets

Ten milligram truth, hundred dollar scream

Chasing that first time I felt clean

Rehab bracelet on the rearview swing

Still smells like smoke when my phone starts to ring

Old plug calling with a deal so sweet

I throw that number out on the passenger seat, nah

Tell my reflection I remember that kid

Before the bathroom stalls, before the half-truths I hid

If I slip, if I fall, if I crawl on the floor

I know exactly what I'm crawling toward

It was one, one, one

I swear I got this, I'm fine

Ten milligram truth in a twenty-bag dream

Almost got buried in that fever-screen sheen

Now I'm counting each clean week

Like a paper stain on my teeth

Ten milligram truth, purple at the seams

I want a real life more than that dream