From The Inside (I’ve Been Breaking)

I been smiling in the photos

Learning all my favorite lies

Holding up this cardboard body

Hoping no one sees the side

Bite my tongue until it's quiet

Change the subject

Change my face

Every mirror keeps on asking

Why you leaving all that space?

'Cause I'm breaking from the inside

Cracks running through my calm

Heart screaming in the half-light

Hands steady

But it feels so wrong

You just see what I've decided

All the armor

All the shine

But I'm breaking

Slowly breaking

From the inside

From the inside

I apologize for breathing

Make a joke

Then fade away

Turn my panic into punchlines

Call it "tired

" call it "a day"

I remember how I used to

Talk too loud and dream too big

Now I ration every feeling

Like I'm down to my last wick

'Cause I'm breaking from the inside

Cracks running through my calm

Heart screaming in the half-light

Hands steady

But it feels so wrong

You just see what I've decided

All the armor

All the shine

But I'm breaking

Slowly breaking

From the inside

From the inside

If I opened up

Would it scare you off? (tell me)

If I let it flood

Would you stay and watch?

If I fall apart

In your passenger seat

Could the softest part of me

Finally breathe?

I've been breaking from the inside

But I'm reaching out this time

Let the fault lines show in daylight

Let the shame walk out of hiding

If you see me when I'm fragile

And you still choose to be mine

Maybe healing

Slowly healing