Текст пісні
Alright gentlemen, listen up
I'm gonna teach you the difference between want and need
When you buy your wife or your girlfriend that present this Christmas
Make sure it's something she wants and not something she needs
The very first Christmas I spent with my wife
I bought her a frying pan
Why? Because she said it was something she needed
Well I went out and I searched the town
And I bought her the best Teflon-coated, copper-clad
You know what? I even had her initials put in the handle
And I'm glad I spent that extra money
Because you know what fellas?
Not only did the eggs not stick to it, neither did my scalp
Ouch!
If you buy a gift that she don't want
You might find yourself alone
What you think is a good idea
Might make the doghouse your new home
A new rod and reel and a set of tools
Will make you the Christmas fool
Love has a long list of dos and don'ts
Don't you buy a gift that she don't want
Now one would think with a man of my intelligence
That I would have learned from that little frying pan incident
But I didn't
Because just the very next Christmas
I bought my wife a leaf blower
Now I know you guys are sitting out there and you're thinking
"Bill, why would you buy your wife a leaf blower?"
Well I'll tell you why
Because every time she was out there doing the yard
She'd scream at the top of her lungs
"Lord, if I only had a little bit of help"
I thought the leaf blower was the answer
You know, I'm a guy
How was I to know that she was talking about me?
If you buy a gift that she don't want
Like a fishing trip or a wild boar hunt
Rubber gloves and a vacuum cleaner
You just might wish you'd never seen her
If you spend your money, better spend it right
Flowers and diamonds are a girl's delight
Love has a long list of dos and don'ts
Don't you buy a gift that she don't want