Cats and Dogs

What the hell's going on?

The cats and the dogs are raining

Now I swear before

The proper saying was

"It's raining cats and dogs"

What the hell's going on?

The cats and the dogs are raining

And doing my brains in

So I must be right in thinking

They're starting to take the P-I-double-S out of me

But I ain't no fool

Love stretching, doing my legs in

I haven't stepped in shit

I've only just stepped in

I shouldn't have stepped out

Look at the state of my creps now

I mean all around

The red tick in the air bubbles effing brown

They're wrecked now

I'm trying to scrape them against this tree but it's no getting out

I only just got them from JD

They were about £80

Then all of a sudden, I hear a bark and keys jingling about

I turn my eyes right up to the clouds

Hoping she weren't bringing it round

Ripping its sharp teeth

And its wet tongue flapping up and down

Telling me "freeze", and if I did run, that was that, I was found

That was then, this is now

Now I'm shitting my pants

Why did she have to let it off its leash

Now that I'm around?

There it goes like a flipping cow, wrestling to the ground

"Good boy", she fucking shouts

Kissing its nose, holding its mouth

I'm going to count to ten, then I'm going to bounce

But again, it sees me at the corner of its eye, heading to the fence

What the hell's going on?

The cats and the dogs are raining

Now I swear before

The proper saying was

"It's raining cats and dogs"

What the hell's going on?

The cats and the dogs are raining

And doing my brains in

So I must be right in thinking

They're starting to take the P-I-double-S out of me

But I ain't no fool

Oh, it's just gone ten

I just stepped in