What the hell's going on?
The cats and the dogs are raining
Now I swear before
The proper saying was
"It's raining cats and dogs"
What the hell's going on?
The cats and the dogs are raining
And doing my brains in
So I must be right in thinking
They're starting to take the P-I-double-S out of me
But I ain't no fool
Love stretching, doing my legs in
I haven't stepped in shit
I've only just stepped in
I shouldn't have stepped out
Look at the state of my creps now
I mean all around
The red tick in the air bubbles effing brown
They're wrecked now
I'm trying to scrape them against this tree but it's no getting out
I only just got them from JD
They were about £80
Then all of a sudden, I hear a bark and keys jingling about
I turn my eyes right up to the clouds
Hoping she weren't bringing it round
Ripping its sharp teeth
And its wet tongue flapping up and down
Telling me "freeze", and if I did run, that was that, I was found
That was then, this is now
Now I'm shitting my pants
Why did she have to let it off its leash
Now that I'm around?
There it goes like a flipping cow, wrestling to the ground
"Good boy", she fucking shouts
Kissing its nose, holding its mouth
I'm going to count to ten, then I'm going to bounce
But again, it sees me at the corner of its eye, heading to the fence
What the hell's going on?
The cats and the dogs are raining
Now I swear before
The proper saying was
"It's raining cats and dogs"
What the hell's going on?
The cats and the dogs are raining
And doing my brains in
So I must be right in thinking
They're starting to take the P-I-double-S out of me
But I ain't no fool
Oh, it's just gone ten
I just stepped in
Luckily, it ain't done a shit about the steps again
And if I see it scratching on my cabinet again
It'll be out the cat flap, down the alley, around the bend
When I come in the drum, I like to switch off and chill
Switch on MTV with a bevvy on chill
But there always has to be
A cocky cat causing a catastrophe
See, so far, he's been no good
He never sits on the sofa where he knows he should
When I'm gone to the toilet for a dump or a leak
It slumps in my seat, looking sweet and petite
That's when I know that it's petting around
So I switch up on my girl, flipping get it out now
But she just smiles at it, saying "Teddy's being petty
While playing with his belly, how the fuck's he meant to respect me?"
What the hell's going on?
The cats and the dogs are raining
Now I swear before
The proper saying was
"It's raining cats and dogs"
What the hell's going on?
The cats and the dogs are raining
And doing my brains in
So I must be right in thinking
They're starting to take the P-I-double-S out of me
But I ain't no fool
Why can't cats and dogs be more like goldfish?
Just stay in the tank all day, floating, getting bloated
No scratching, no barking, trying so hard to get noticed
They're just on their own thing
They're just on their own thing
What the hell's going on?
The cats and the dogs are raining
Now I swear before
The proper saying was
"It's raining cats and dogs"
What the hell's going on?
The cats and the dogs are raining
And doing my brains in
So I must be right in thinking
They're starting to take the P-I-double-S out of me
But I ain't no fool