Yours

I hold my breath on nights like this.

I miss my brother walking through the kitchen door

I feel survivor's guilt, I wish—

(I really fucking hate myself)*

Wish it was me instead of you

And I—

Carried the world on my shoulders since I was 17

Beared the weight of the trauma until it buried me

And just for a moment—

When he holds me

Right where I come apart like he knows me

Dancing in the dark, it's unholy (holy)

And I—

I wanna know you

Let me take off your shirt and unfold you

Show me where it hurts

I told you

(I told you, I told you, I told you)

That I am yours

That I—

I'm just a boy, so young and naïve

With a hole in his chest left by Dad when he loaded the gun

Put it straight to his head

Pulled the trigger in front of my mother

And ever since that summer

A violent storm began to rage

Inside of me

Inside of me

And I—

Carried the shame of my father and all he could have been

Beared the pain of my mother and every broken dream

And just for a moment—

When he holds me

Right where I come apart like he knows me

Dancing in the dark, it's unholy (holy)

And I—

I wanna know you

Let me take off your shirt and unfold you

Show me where it hurts

I told you

(I told you, I told you, I told you)

That I am yours

That I am yours