In Rooms Without Windows

I didn't notice the first crack

Only the sound of everything falling

And me standing still

And I wasn't loud but it weighed on me

Like wet paper against my skin

I carried the fragments, pressed them to my chest

Afraid they'd cut me, afraid to let them go

But I'm learning to breathe

In rooms without windows

I'm learning to walk

On floors that once gave way

And piece by piece

My own hands are putting me back

Together

Some mornings the sun feels foreign

I watch it paint my walls

Like it's telling me secrets

I never knew I needed

And maybe the ache isn't something to fix

But something to hold until it softens in my palms

I thought I was ruined

But I was only winter

And spring was waiting beneath the frost

It's quiet work, this healing

But it's mine

I'm learning to breathe

In rooms without windows

I'm learning to walk

On floors that once gave way

And piece by piece

My own hands are putting me back

Together

When the light finds me

I won't turn away

I'll let it in and see who I've become