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I told myself I'd calm down that I'd play it cool tonight
But here I am rehearsing every word I'd say just right
I know it's not that serious but I feel it way too much
My heart keeps holding on to every ghost of every touch
I promise I'm not drowning
Though I act like that sometimes
It's just that letting go of you
Feels bigger in my mind
I'm holding on even when I shouldn't
Even when I swore I absolutely wouldn't
Something in me trembles when you're almost out of sight
I'm holding on even when it's foolish
Call it hope or call it something ruinous
But losing you feels heavier
Than keeping me up all night
I'm holding on
Still holding on
I try to be productive get my life back into gear
But everything grows blurry when my thoughts pull you near
My friends say I'm dramatic that I'll laugh about this soon
But loving you has phases and this one's a monsoon
I know I'm being extra
But the truth is what it is
My heart keeps throwing signals
That I can't ignore in this
I'm holding on even when I shouldn't
Even when I promised that I really couldn't
Something in me shivers every time you cross my mind
I'm holding on even when it's reckless
Even when the logic of it seems defenseless
But losing what you gave me
Feels like leaving light behind
I've tried to cut the edges
Tried to fold the feelings small
But love is not a paper thing
It never stays that way at all
So if my heart's still reaching
I won't shame the way it beats
I'll honor every echo
Till the echoing retreats
I'm holding on even when I shouldn't
Even when the world says I absolutely wouldn't
Something in me rises when I think of how we were
I'm holding on even when it's tender
Even when it breaks me in a small surrender
But letting go of love like this
Still feels premature
I'm holding on
Still holding on